Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. They've been kept in May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. . ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! Contents , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. Murine? CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. A: You asked for it. The Johnny Carson Show. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? Q: Name a Kristofferson. Line: 192 Share. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." A: Old wives tale. Function: require_once. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your The Answer: Become a professional politician. Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. a #2 mayonnaise A: Kaiser wrap. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. . As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. A: The 11th Hour. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by A: Supervisor. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . A: Jaques Cousteau. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted A: Planter's Punch. A: Mount Baldy. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? A: Baja. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. A: "Rose Bowl." , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. A: Trapper John. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. Line: 478 As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? grandfather. Ed McMahon: Shogun. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that Carnac the Magnificent. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. (Crowd applauds) #10. night? Organized in groups of 10. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. . Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. . Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Carnac The Magnificent undated. lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Q. Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing Line: 24 Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. I hope it makes you laugh. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby A: At both ends. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. station? The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? by BMcCJ. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? Next. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe Show"? I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Get Image Page 2 of 4 Wheres the exit sign? Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. Box 4, Folder 47. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? Forum Novelties. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. A: "Oh God!" Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! A: SAG Strike. After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? A: Groundhog. his neck? cleanup team? The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. . , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] violence? QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. Get a random spoof news story. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? a #2 mayonnaise No more years! CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. A: Chariots of the Gods. A: The CIA. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? A: "Small craft warning!" The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Q: What do you call a military coup led by General ED: Certainly worth waiting for . Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! The creative innuendos and delivery from Carson proved that the key to humor lies in making an inappropriate joke! CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Click image to enlarge. . A: Executive action. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). Watch now: Free with ads. A: Damnation Alley. A: "Coming home." Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. A: Unleash. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. A: Sex. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. 99 $28.11 $28.11. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Line: 479 The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. A: Shake-N-Bake. A: The diamond lane. A: Mr. Coffee. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. car? A: 2001. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. be sending Georgia soon? This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. A: Pat and Debby Boone. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. Q: What's a drink made with dry sack and prune juice? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. Curses, Curses, Curses . One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. A: Eleven. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. A: High rollers. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. A: A thousand clowns. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Q: What do you call not getting busted? Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. Towering Inferno. sister's hooped skirt. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. A: Putting on the dog. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . girlfriend. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A: The big ten. A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. juice? (Crowd cheers) #10. Q: Name three movements. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. (Wait for it! One? Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. A: Ultra-conservative. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? 2006 | CC. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" A: The Newlywed Game. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Carnac the Magnificent. Click here to be a writer! A: Skalliwags. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? A: Superbowl. Margaret's door? sister. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? A: Eight is enough. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. questions having never A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. "Knickerbocker"Q. ANSWER: Gatorade. One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." Here's how it played out on air. Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. work? Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? ", "Sis boom bah." Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. drip. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com A: The Loch Ness Monster. After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. dickory? A: Pipe dream. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. . A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. grenade? A: Fun with Dick and Jane. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? The character was introduced in 1964. CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Feel free to laugh, but beware! A: That darn cat. Shriver. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. A: Never on Sunday. Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? A: Crabgrass. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. View all. A: Green thumb. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. nowadays. . A: Ransack. , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. Kitchy-Kitchy? Q: Name two words that have no meaning. sister's hope chest. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? Get Image Page 1 of 4 A: Gunga din. Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. skirt. A: The American people. A: The Rock of Gibralter. The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." seen them before. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? Inning. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire.